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A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful
to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, She sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy.
What do you think I should do?" "Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell
me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"
One Night After Watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire... A man
and his wife went to bed and the man was getting very frisky. He asked his wife if she was in the mood. His wife answered,
"Not tonight dear, I have a headache." The man replied, "Is that your final answer?" She said "Yes."
"OK, then I'd like to phone a friend." he replied.
A wife says to her friend, "Our sex life stinks." Her
friend says, "Do you ever watch your husband's face when you're having sex?" She says, "Once, and I saw rage."
Her friend says, "Why would he be angry during sex?" The wife says, "Because he was looking through the window
at us."
A couple drove down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier
discussion had led to an argument, and neither would concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs,
the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the husband replied. "In-laws."
This guy visits the doctors and says, "Doc, I think I've got
a sex problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore." The doctor says, "Come back tomorrow and bring her with you."
The next day, the guy shows up with his wife. The doctor says to the wife, "Take off your clothes and lie on the table."
She does it, and the doctor walks around the table a few times looking her up and down. He pulls the guy to the side and says,
"You're fine. She doesn't give me a hard-on, either."
A man was complaining to a friend, "I had it all - money, a
magnificent house, a fast car, the love of a beautiful woman... then, poof! It was all gone!" "What happened?"
asked the friend. "My wife found out..."
Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day only catch him
sitting on the side of his bed sliding on a condom. Johnny's father, in attempt to hide his full erection with a condom on
it, bent over as if to look under the bed. Little Johnny asked curiously "What ya doin dad?" His father quickly
replied, "I thought I saw a rat go underneath the bed, to which Little Johnny replied "What ya gonna do, fuck him?"
A farmer is lying in bed with his wife when he turns to her grabs
her tits and says "Honey if you could get milk out of these we could sell the cow". Then he grabs her pussy and
says "Honey if you could get eggs out of here we could sell the chickens". She turns to him smiles,grabs his dick
and says "Honey if you could get this up I could get rid of your brother"
A bear and a bunny are sitting in a forest taking a shit. The bear
leans over to the bunny and says "Do you ever have the problem of shit sticking to your fur"? The bunny says "No".
So the bear grabs the bunny and wipes his ass.
A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "You want to play
'Magic'?" She says, "What's that?" He says, "We go to my house and fuck, and then you disappear."
A blonde walked in on her husband having an affair. She was so angry
she pulled out a gun and pointed to the woman's head. She was about to pull the trigger, when her husband said, "No,
don't!" and she replied, "Shut up, you're next!"
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